Bikur Cholim / Visiting The Sick Buidling Ourselves and Our Communities, One Act of Kindness at a Time by Rechel Schoenfeld Visiting the sick means I care, I remember you. You are not alone or forgotten. Whether it’s checking in on a family member who’s ill, your upstairs neighbor, a congregant in the synagogue, or someone you’ve never met before in a hospital or
residence. Bikur cholim provides us each with an enormous opportunity and responsibility. As illness is part of the human condition we invariably all know someone, or will know someone, who is ill. And at the same time, each individual’s experience of illness is unique and can feel isolating. In the fabric of the world God has woven an opportunity for us to remember, to consider those who are sick (whether it’s a slight feeling ‘under the weather,’ or a serious illness), with the mitzvah of bikur cholim. We are actually enjoined, ‘thou shalt show up!’ Some opinions state that bikur cholim is a biblical mitzvah of “you shall walk in His ways” (Deuteronomy 28) In Genesis 18 we encounter
Abraham, recuperating from his bris/circumcision at an advanced age and it is God who visits him, who sets the standard. [Very instructively, what does God actually do in that visit? No written conversation is recorded. G-d ‘simply’ shows up to offer His presence. In other words, “just go, be there, the sick need me, they need us.” Elie Wiesel in © Turn to Me, the bikur cholim documentary]. Maimonides says bikur cholim is a rabbinical commandment and an aspect of “You shall love your fellow as yourself.”(Leviticus 19). The Talmud teaches: These are the precepts whose fruits a person enjoys in this world but whose principal remains intact for him in the World to Come, and amongst them are visiting the sick and acts
of lovingkindness. We know that visiting the sick is chicken soup for the soul. Whereas doctors can help cure the body, social support heals and nurtures the soul. There have been more and more studies on social support and resilience and varied studies that discuss the value of social support in the perception of pain as well as ones that link outcome from particular procedures with the patient’s knowledge of social support being available. A card, a phone call, a text, a visit, it feels good to be remembered, to be thought of, so why a mitzvah? Why are we instructed to do it? Because it is not always so simple. We might struggle in finding the right words, making the time, or being comfortable in an
uncomfortable situation, as we face our own vulnerability and mortality. We fulfill the mitzvah because it is the right thing to do, and we grow and gain from the experience. Visiting can feel so very rewarding, in fact there is a ‘helper’s high,’ that can be experienced, and as we know the Torah teaches “according to the effort is the reward.’ The energy derived from rush of endorphins reported after visiting contributes to sense of wellbeing.Visiting the sick enhances the quality of life for the giver and receiver (especially where chocolate may not be an option)! A deep satisfaction can come from knowing you are doing what’s needed and stretching yourself in the act. There are also endless ways to
communicate caring that can also use one’s talents and interests, playing a musical instrument or singing with someone; running an errand; bringing over dinner; doing homework with a child; playing a game, reading them a book, meditating together, praying with, or on someone’s behalf, or “just” being there with the gift of your presence. Ever heard of mitzvah clowning? You can ‘clown around’ and bring comfort as well. There are many skills one can learn that will enhance one’s knowledge and comfort level with the mitzvah. To quote a long time, devoted bikur cholim visitor: “These acts of chesedshould not be taken for granted because they enhance communal experience and feelings of
inclusiveness. Each of us individually can give so much to our community. Each persondoing their part, is the HEART and SOULof the synagogue.” The Jewish Board's Rabbi Isaac N. Trainin Bikur Cholim Coordinating Council hosts an Annual Conference on Visiting the Sick each autumn where participants can learn from inspirational keynote speakers and choose from amongst many practical, skill building workshops. The 30th Anniversary Conference, Community at Its Best: Enhancing Our Life and the Lives of those we Visitwill be on Sunday, November 10, 2019 at UJA-Federation of NY. Please email jcs@jbfcs.orgfor more information. The Rabbi Isaac N. Trainin Bikur Cholim Coordinating Council is a program
of The Jewish Board, Jewish Community Services (JCS). JCS integrates expertise in social work with spiritual care, providing a broad range of services, year-round, to Jewish organizations, individuals, and families facing life's challenges and transitions. For more information about Bikur Cholim, please visit: www.jewishboard.org/bikurcholim. Rechel Schoenfeld is Program Director, MSW, Rabbi Isaac N. Trainin Bikur
Cholim Coordinating Council, NY of The Jewish Board.
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